I begin to enjoy the nights where I sit under my quilt, with my breakfast tray and laptop on it. I wonder how long more will be able to enjoy this luxury. It kind of allows me to reflect on my day, on my thoughts and on what I've been through.

I bet there are others who went through more than me, who wants to give up sometimes.

But I think death works wonders in strange ways. For me, it woke me up, it taught me how to live. Death showed me the light of life. I used to take things for granted but death shook me up. I think its only when you experience death at an age when you understand, comprehend the aftereffects than death really has worked on you. I think its when death daunts on you, at a time where you never expected, where you thought you will fall deeper, its only then you realised how much it teaches you to just keep on breathing.

Two deaths in a row, 3 months apart. One is pops, the other is my best cousin.

It shook the family, it made us questioned God, it made us question why. But death works wonders, its harsh but it brings people together, it shows the vulnerability of people. It teaches one to stay strong. Certain days, it comes back to haunt you, it haunts you when you are alone when you are down. You start zooming back to the hospital, you start seeing your friends comforting you, you see the fire, the tears then it ends. But it never ends, death never ends, it stays it stays with you till you meet death yourself.

But now I just now I have to keep breathing.

Yes just keep breathing :)

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