I have been a mini Queen fan thanks to dad. I use to hear it on his bose system, for someone who is rather boring. I have to say pops has quite great music taste, queen, eagles, phil colins. Nope I did not grow up with the typical ktv songs that uncles tend to sing loudly into the mike but I grew up with these classics.

I think I just have some english blood in me, with pops telling me his college and university days in London. I used to wonder what his house looks like, the apple tree that he mentions to me. Or how my uncle tells me how he whacks a whole mooncake when grandma delivers it up from Singapore.

Now being here, it makes me feel closer to him too. It's something special that both of us share, having our education here. Sitting the same tubes, walking down the tube stairs, the stale air, the cold wintery months. In years to come, I wonder how should I tell my kids or grandkids about their grandpa. About this man whom I spend a good 19 years of my life, understanding his rather interesting temper, his knowledge and his love for his family. It makes me scared, it makes me afraid that one day his face starts fading away from me or the memories starts to get dusty.

Maybe that's why sometimes I never want to move on cos I want to make sure that I always remember the fateful day so that the flashbacks comes easily. I guess the fear the sadness the grieve allows me to jolt back to that day and then the pain comes back and I start to remember everything associating with him. Mum and Mae have moved on but nah deep inside I know that in a little corner of my head, one part is locked up for that day. For him . Its a sad sick way of remembering a person, but I guess everyone have their ways. For me is walking back to that day, then it opens the doors to other memories.

If God is rather high tech right now, which he should be cos he gave man the power of knowledge and man found the internet. I bet heaven has an internet cafe.

So daddy I know you are reading this

:)

Love ,

Your Daughter Xi Gua